‘That one bad thing is not the end’

CAITLYN HAY’S FRIDGE IS STOCKED, HER BILLS ARE PAID AND SHE HAS A ROOF OVER HER HEAD.

They might sound like basic things, but for Caitlyn, they represent a security she hasn’t always had.

At 16, she wasn’t sure where she would sleep from one night to the next.

Growing up in Shepparton, Caitlyn moved between two households after her parents separated.

Behind-the-scenes, financial pressure, alcoholism and drug use were taking their toll on her family.

“In the moment, we thought it was normal.”

Things became particularly difficult in early high school when her father’s new partner entered her life.

She was 13 and struggling to understand if what was happening was normal.

“Are you meant to get screamed at and yelled at and told you’re doing everything wrong?”

At 15, she obtained a restraining order.

“I just couldn’t do it.”

Meanwhile, her mother had broken her leg and was increasingly absent as drug use became apparent.

“She was home. She wasn’t home. She’s there. She wasn’t there.”

“I was 16 and Mum just didn’t come back one day.”

She was gone for a week.

“I was parenting myself without being a parent.”

Her mother would return to the house and arguments would erupt.

Caitlyn remembered reaching a point where she felt she had to stand her ground.

“I remember that day she told me I was no longer a daughter, and I was a disgrace.”

“It was the breaking point for me.

“I can’t do this. You know, this is my house,” Caitlyn said.

After an argument one night, she could not concentrate enough to sit a test at school the next morning.

Caitlyn emailed her teacher to explain what was happening and ask if she could take it another day.

“That one email, and that’s when the support started the next day at school.”

The wellbeing support she received helped equip her to make some difficult decisions.

“I didn’t think it was that bad, but it was that bad. It was horrible.”

“Still, making that call to move out wasn’t easy.”

A friend’s mother offered Caitlyn a room, where she stayed for six months.

But she knew it wasn’t permanent.

“It was a strain on the friendship and on the mum for looking after me for as long as she did.”

She was talking to her school wellbeing officer about her living situation when Shepparton’s Education First Youth Foyer opened.

It was an opportunity she couldn’t pass up.

While Caitlyn was working on a production, her phone rang.

She had been accepted.

“It’s like that big weight lifted,” she said.

“It’s a new chapter, it’s a new beginning, and now there’s a bit more hope and possibilities.”

Caitlyn was about to start VCE, and knew she could now finish high school.

“It was a big relief in my life to be able to have that opportunity to have a crack and not feel stressed on my security or ... where am I sleeping, what am I eating, where am I staying.”

In many ways, the Foyer gave her more than a room.

She learnt how to budget, cook, change the oil in a car, complete a tax return and found some friends along the way.

“I knew that I wasn’t alone.”

With somewhere safe to live, Caitlyn could start thinking about what came next.

She graduated high school and received a university scholarship, pushing for opportunities she had once struggled to imagine.

But leaving the Foyer did not mean life suddenly became easy.

Caitlyn moved back in with her father, who was unwell.

With little time on her hands, she eventually withdrew from university.

Later that year, her mother was arrested and her father kicked her out.

She was living between friends’ houses again.

“I needed to work on myself a bit more. I was still quite angry at myself, angry at the world, my parents, the system.”

Then came a job at Schnitz.

“I didn’t even want it. It was just another casual job for extra money.”

“But the world works in mysterious ways, and that job became a saving grace in my life.”

Within six months, Caitlyn became a team leader, later progressing to assistant manager and then manager of the new Echuca store.

Throughout it all, she has carried a love of learning.

“I’m only 27, there’s so much to learn.”

“Every day is a school day,” she said with a smile.

And there are still things she wants to achieve.

One day, she wants to open her own restaurant.

“Ten years ago I knew what I wanted, but I didn’t think that it was going to happen.”

The difference now is not that Caitlyn believes life will always be easy, but that she knows she can keep moving forward when it isn’t.

“That one bad thing is not the end,” she said.

“The Foyer helped me shift from ‘will I get there?’ to ‘I can do this’.”