But by the time Australia were finishing their last innings of the tour in the field on Friday, Hazlewood could be heard bemoaning the Cape Town wicket's lack of life.
"Good luck bowling bouncers on that thing," Hazlewood was picked up saying through an effects microphone, after a Mitchell Starc ball failed to get any height.
Still, with little seam movement or any real reverse-swing on offer on a docile pitch, Australia felt forced to revert to their short-ball tactics with men set back on the boundary.
Australia described Friday as an attritional day", with just one wicket in the first five hours before a late collapse left the Proteas all out for 387.
The tourists will need to pull off their biggest fourth-innings chase in 15 years to take victory in the series decider on Saturday, with a target of 288 set.
For an Australian team used to cricket in fast forward over recent years, the past two Tests in Gqeberha and Cape Town have been a fair way from the norm.
They could also offer a glimpse into what lies ahead in the Ashes next year, if England roll out similar pitches to 2023.
According to CricViz, Australia's quicks bowled a higher percentage of short balls in Cape Town than in any Test since Lord's during the 2023 Ashes.
It worked too, with six of South Africa's wickets across the two innings coming on the hook shot with fielders back, and not one player caught in the slips.
"We've used the short-ball tactic a lot, and it's been fairly fruitful for us," bowling coach James Franklin said.
"From day one there's been a little bit of passive nature to this pitch, so there hasn't been a lot of seam movement or swing.
"You've just got to be agile as a unit, create wickets in different ways. We've been able to find those ways, albeit there's been periods of play when it's been hard."
For their part, South Africa pair Ryan Rickelton and Wiaan Mulder proved there is a way to handle the bumper barrage, on their way to centuries in a 154-run sixth-wicket stand.
It just requires more patience than several Proteas have displayed this series, or indeed England's batters had in 2023.
"I am generally one who plays the short ball, but it wasn't worth it for me with the trap," Rickelton said.
"It just takes one to hold or go a little quicker and the ball is in the air.
"Those big quicks charge in, put three or four overs under their belts and if they get nothing from the batter it drains them and doesn't incentivise them to keep going."
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